Monthly Archives: October 2005

Lest these moments slip away from us forever

I want to record for posterity all my greatest puns, some quite extraordinary, some not.

In the lunch queue one afternoon, when it’s rice for lunch:

Fran: Brown rice or white rice?
Me: Brown or white? What do you take me for, Fran, a riceist?

Last night at the Thomas Lord, after a Bailey’s and a cider:

All this has gone in-cider my Bailey’s.

A bit later on, when we were discussing stuffed animals and Val called for a taxi:

So, Val, is that taxidermy, then?

Thank you for your attention. You may now carry on with your drab, boring life, knowing that I’ve brought a moment of joy into it. That makes me happy too, you know.

And as long as I’m dreaming, I’d like a…

I decided to make a (somewhat realistic) wishlist of the things I want to buy for photography in the next few months/years/eons, and since I know the world is dying to hear about these things, here they are:

Assuming I don’t buy some other digital, I want a…

1) Canon EOS 350D, with 18-55mm kit lens, and 1G CF card. (~£600)
2) 70-300mm zoom, F2.8 would be terrific, but I guess I’ll have to settle for F4-5.6. There’s no way I can afford the L or the IS versions of these lenses at this point. (~£600 for the Canon, ~£200 for the Sigma 28-200 F3.5-6.3. The Canon 100-400L is a happy dream at £1300. However, there is a 100-300 F4.5-5.6 for around £250.)
3) Canon EF 85mm F1.8 USM. Please please please… (£350)
4) Canon EF 50mm 1.4 USM. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE… (£300)
5) Canon Speedlight 580EX (~£150).
6) Canon 1.4x and 2x teleconvertors (£400, for both).

Oh, and I don’t want to be greedy, but a PowerShot S2 IS would go down very, very nicely indeed. Just for a few other things, you understand… That’s another £400 and odd. Santa, are you listening? I’ve been good! I’ve been very good! Well, apart from the noodle incident, perhaps, but that doesn’t count!

So, it looks like I’m not going to have any money left for university next year; woe is me!! I want to be rich! I don’t want to be stinking rich, but I do have lens envy at this point, after reading dpreview for months now. And yes, it’s very Freudian – everyone wants the biggest possible lens. Apart from the landscape photographers, of course. But they don’t count.

That was a sorry response…

I waxed eloquent in my Pre-AS maths class about e, pi, i, 1 and 0, and put up the Jewel on the board, in nice big letters… and what response do I get?

“It’s equal to zero? What sort of equation is that? Hmph.”

Ok, so I went off on a tangent (we were supposed to be discussing the multiplication of negative numbers) but I thought they might find it interesting, but nada. Sigh. My life is blighted. On the positive side, they did understand the multiplication of negative numbers – and hopefully not just as a blanket rule.

Ah, the tragedy of teaching, I swear…

A small love poem

With my deepest, sincerest, most sympathetic apologies to Mr. Lear.

The Anu and the Vento

The Anu and the Vento went to the M3 –
She was a beautiful pea-green car.
They took some petrol, and plenty of collateral,
And set course for distant Myanmar.

The Anu looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
“O lovely Vento! O Vento, my love
What a beautiful vehicle you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful vehicle you are!”

Vento said to the Anu, “You elegant man, you,
How charmingly sweet you drive!
Oh! Let us be married; too long we have tarried:
Without you I cannot survive!
So they drove away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Brock-tree grows;
And there in the Grove, that old treasure-trove,
Sat a sheep with a ring on his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
Sat a sheep with a ring on his nose.

“Dear Sheep, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?” Said the sheepy, “I will.”
So they took it away and were married next day
By the rabbit who lives at the Dell.
They sat on a sofu, and dined on stewed tofu,
Which they ate with a chopstick and spoon,
And wheel in hand, by the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Comments welcome. Please, don’t gush. And for those who are confused, click here.

Speed, baby, speed!

I’m in love. That surge of power in second and third as I floor the pedal has seduced me, enthralled me, beguiled me. The effortless ease with which the trees whip past the window, the delicate, refined roar of the engine, the sense of power, ah, it’s all gone to my head. My Vento, my love, heart’s desire, I need you. I want you. Let us together travel the twisted roads of life forevermore (specifically the A272, the M3 and the B3051), and let us never be parted in this, or in any other life.

Bah, humbug

I feel like Scrooge – grumpy, and all I want to do is snap at people, and when I’m not grumpy I’m antisocial and don’t want to be around people. Must be the weather or some such. Or maybe I’m just getting a bug. Please, I hope not. Spare me the English Sniffles.

I don’t know how I am going to survive on dial-up ever again. DSL spoils you. 200MB download? No problem! An hour or so!

Goodbye world, I am off to drown my sorrows in peppermint tea.

Jeez, if you have so many problems with the place, why stay?

It really defeats me. Why would someone spend two hours complaining about the place they’re in, a place where they came out of their own free will, and a place they have the choice to leave any time, and not do something more constructive? For crying out loud, man, if it bothers you so much, you’re not exactly chained to Brockwood, are you? It’s not as if you’re a student and have no choice. As Kate would say, hush yer whining.

Gah. I happen to like the place. I don’t think it’s perfect, not by any means, but if I had that many complaints, I wouldn’t stay.

All right. I’m bored, and I pinched this off a friend’s LJ

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. 1984, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis

10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

19. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien

26. Tess Of The Durbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas

45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck

53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell

59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding

71. Perfume, Patrick Susskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl

75. Bridget Jones’ Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett

103. The Beach, Alex Garland
104. Dracula, Bram Stoker
105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth

110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy
112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 1/2, Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy

116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
119. Shogun, James Clavell
120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray
123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy
124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett

127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison
128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle
129. Possession, A. S. Byatt

130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaids Tale, Margaret Atwood
132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl
133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck
134. Georges Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett

136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan

139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
144. It, Stephen King
145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile, Stephen King
147. Papillon, Henri Charriere
148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
149. Master And Commander, Patrick O’Brian
150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement, Ian McEwan

155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey
158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling

160. Cross Stitch, Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
162. River God, Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx
165. The World According To Garp, John Irving
166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches, Roald Dahl
170. Charlotte’s Web, E. B. White
171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco
175. Sophie’s World, Jostein Gaarder
176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Roald Dahl
178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery

181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens
183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner, George Eliot
185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis
186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Gross-mith
187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh
188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine
189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri
190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence

191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons
193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett
194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells

195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle

200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia C. Andrews
201. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
202. The Eye of the World, Robert Jordan
203. The Great Hunt, Robert Jordan
204. The Dragon Reborn, Robert Jordan
205. Fires of Heaven, Robert Jordan
206. Lord of Chaos, Robert Jordan
207. Winters Heart, Robert Jordan
208. A Crown of Swords, Robert Jordan

209. Crossroads of Twilight, Robert Jordan
210. A Path of Daggers, Robert Jordan
211. As Nature Made Him, John Colapinto
212. Microserfs, Douglas Coupland
213. The Married Man, Edmund White
214. Winters Tale, Mark Helprin
215. The History of Sexuality, Michel Foucault
216. Cry to Heaven, Anne Rice
217. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe, John Boswell
218. Equus, Peter Shaffer
219. The Man Who Ate Everything, Jeffrey Steingarten
220. Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke
221. Ella Minnow Pea, Mark Dunn
222. The Vampire Lestat, Anne Rice
223. Anthem, Ayn Rand
224. The Bridge To Terabithia, Katherine Paterson
225. Tartuffe, Moliere
226. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
227. The Crucible, Arthur Miller
228. The Trial, Franz Kafka
229. Oedipus Rex, Sophocles

230. Oedipus at Colonus, Sophocles
231. Death Be Not Proud, John Gunther
232. A Dolls House, Henrik Ibsen
233. Hedda Gabler, Henrik Ibsen
234. Ethan Frome, Edith Wharton
235. A Raisin In The Sun, Lorraine Hansberry
236. ALIVE!, Piers Paul Read
237. Grapefruit, Yoko Ono
238. Trickster Makes This World, Lewis Hyde
240. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
241. Chronicles of Thomas Convenant, Unbeliever, Stephen Donaldson
242. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
242. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
243. Summerland, Michael Chabon
244. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
245. Candide, Voltaire
246. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More, Roald Dahl
247. Ringworld, Larry Niven
248. The King Must Die, Mary Renault
249. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
250. A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline L’Engle
251. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde
252. The House Of The Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
253. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
254. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
255. The Great Gilly Hopkins, Katherine Paterson
256. Chocolate Fever, Robert Kimmel Smith
257. Xanth: The Quest for Magic, Piers Anthony
258. The Lost Princess of Oz, L. Frank Baum
259. Wonder Boys, Michael Chabon
260. Lost In A Good Book, Jasper Fforde
261. Well Of Lost Plots, Jasper Fforde
261. Life Of Pi, Yann Martel
263. The Bean Trees, Barbara Kingsolver
264. A Yellow Rraft In Blue Water, Michael Dorris
265. Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder
267. Where The Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls

268. Griffin & Sabine, Nick Bantock
269. Witch of Blackbird Pond, Joyce Friedland
270. Mrs. Frisby And The Rats Of NIMH, Robert C. OBrien
271. Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt
272. The Cay, Theodore Taylor
273. From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, E.L. Konigsburg
274. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster
275. The Westing Game, Ellen Raskin
276. The Kitchen God’s Wife, Amy Tan
277. The Bone Setter’s Daughter, Amy Tan
278. Relic, Duglas Preston & Lincolon Child
279. Wicked, Gregory Maguire
280. American Gods, Neil Gaiman
281. Misty of Chincoteague, Marguerite Henry
282. The Girl Next Door, Jack Ketchum
283. Haunted, Judith St. George
284. Singularity, William Sleator
285. A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
286. Different Seasons, Stephen King
287. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
288. About a Boy, Nick Hornby
289. The Bookmans Wake, John Dunning
290. The Church of Dead Girls, Stephen Dobyns
291. Illusions, Richard Bach
292. Magics Pawn, Mercedes Lackey
293. Magics Promise, Mercedes Lackey
294. Magics Price, Mercedes Lackey
295. The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Gary Zukav
296. Spirits of Flux and Anchor, Jack L. Chalker
297. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
298. The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Brenda Love
299. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace
300. The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison
301. The Cider House Rules, John Irving
302. Enders Game, Orson Scott Card
303. Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland
304. The Lions Game, Nelson Demille
305. The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars, Stephen Brust
306. Cyteen, C. J. Cherryh
307. Foucault’s Pendulum, Umberto Eco
308. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson
309. Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
310. Camber of Culdi, Kathryn Kurtz
311. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
312. War and Rememberance, Herman Wouk
313. The Art of War, Sun Tzu
314. The Giver, Lois Lowry
315. The Telling, Ursula Le Guin
316. Xenogenesis (or Liliths Brood), Octavia Butler
317. A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold
318. The Curse of Chalion, Lois McMaster Bujold
319. The Aeneid, Publius Vergilius Maro (Vergil)
320. Hanta Yo, Ruth Beebe Hill
321. The Princess Bride, S. Morganstern (or William Goldman)
322. Beowulf, Anonymous
323. The Sparrow, Maria Doria Russell
324. Deerskin, Robin McKinley
325. Dragonsong, Anne McCaffrey
326. Passage, Connie Willis
327. Otherland, Tad Williams
328. Tigana, Guy Gavriel Kay
329. Number the Stars, Lois Lowry
330. Beloved, Toni Morrison
331. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christs Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore
332. The mysterious disappearance of Leon, I mean Noel, Ellen Raskin
333. Summer Sisters, Judy Blume
334. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo
335. The Island on Bird Street, Uri Orlev
336. Midnight in the Dollhouse, Marjorie Filley Stover
337. The Miracle Worker, William Gibson
338. The Genesis Code, John Case
339. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevensen
340. Paradise Lost, John Milton

341. Phantom, Susan Kay
342. The Mummy or Ramses the Damned, Anne Rice
343. Anno Dracula, Kim Newman
344: The Dresden Files: Grave Peril, Jim Butcher
345: Tokyo Suckerpunch, Issac Adamson
346: The Winter of Magics Return, Pamela Service
347: The Oddkins, Dean R. Koontz
348. My Name is Asher Lev, Chaim Potok
349. The Last Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
350. At Swim, Two Boys, Jaime O’Neill
351. Othello, by William Shakespeare
352. The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas
353. The Collected Poems of William Butler Yeats
354. Sati, Christopher Pike
355. The Inferno, Dante
356. The Apology, Plato
357. The Small Rain, Madeline LEngle
358. The Man Who Tasted Shapes, Richard E. Cytowick
359. 5 Novels, Daniel Pinkwater
360. The Sevenwaters Trilogy, Juliet Marillier
361. Girl with a Pearl Earring, Tracy Chevalier
362. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
363. Our Town, Thorton Wilder
364. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
335. The Interpreter, Suzanne Glass
336. The Moors Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
337. The Mother Tongue, Bill Bryson
338. A Passage to India, E.M. Forster

339. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
340. The Phantom of the Opera, Gaston Leroux
341. Pages for You, Sylvia Brownrigg
342. The Changeover, Margaret Mahy
343. Howls Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones
344. Angels and Demons, Dan Brown
345. Johnny Got His Gun, Dalton Trumbo
346. Shosha, Isaac Bashevis Singer
347. Travels With Charley, John Steinbeck
348. The Diving-bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
349. The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
350. Time for Bed by David Baddiel
351. Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold
352. Quite Ugly One Morning by Christopher Brookmyre
353. The Bloody Sun by Marion Zimmer Bradley
354. Sewer, Gas, and Eletric by Matt Ruff
355. Jhereg by Steven Brust
356. So You Want To Be A Wizard by Diane Duane
357. Perdido Street Station, China Mieville
358. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte
359. Road-side Dog, Czeslaw Milosz
360. The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
361. Neuromancer, William Gibson
362. The Epistemology of the Closet, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
363. A Canticle for Liebowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr
364. The Mask of Apollo, Mary Renault
365. The Gunslinger, Stephen King
366. Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare
367. Childhoods End, Arthur C. Clarke

368. A Season of Mists, Neil Gaiman
369. Ivanhoe, Walter Scott
370. The God Boy, Ian Cross
371. The Beekeepers Apprentice, Laurie R. King
372. Finn Family Moomintroll, Tove Jansson
373. Misery, Stephen King
374. Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters
375. Hood, Emma Donoghue
376. The Land of Spices, Kate OBrien
377. The Diary of Anne Frank
378. Regeneration, Pat Barker
379. Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald
380. Dreaming in Cuban, Cristina Garcia
381. A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
382. The View from Saturday, E.L. Konigsburg
383. Dealing with Dragons, Patricia Wrede
384. Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Lynne Truss
385. A Severed Wasp – Madeleine LEngle
386. Here Be Dragons – Sharon Kay Penman
387. The Mabinogion (Ancient Welsh Tales) – translated by Lady Charlotte E. Guest
388. The DaVinci Code – Dan Brown
389. Desire of the Everlasting Hills – Thomas Cahill
390. The Cloister Walk – Kathleen Norris
391. The Things We Carried, Tim OBrien
392. I Know This Much Is True, Wally Lamb
393. Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
394. Enders Shadow, Orson Scott Card
395. The Memory of Earth, Orson Scott Card
396. The Iron Tower, Dennis L. McKiernen
397. Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
398. A Ring of Endless Light, Madeline L’Engle
399. Lords of Discipline, Pat Conroy
400. Hyperion, Dan Simmons
401. If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things, Jon McGregor
402. The Bridge, Iain Banks
403. Practical Demonkeeping, Christopher Moore
404. Promethea, Alan Moore
405. The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon
406. Archangel – Robert Harris
407. Vernon god little – dbc pierre
408. Ultimate spiderman – Brian Michael Bendis
409. The Glamour, Christopher Priest
410. The Portrait of Mrs. Charbuque, Jeffrey Ford
411. The Third Person, Steve Mosby
412. Psychoville, Christopher Fowler
413. The Street of Crocodiles, Bruno Schulz
414. The Constant Gardener, John Le Carre
415. The Priestess of Avalon, Marion Bradley
416. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Bradley
417. Einstein’s Dreams, Alan Lightman
418. The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread, Pat Robertson
419. Abarat, Clive Barker
420. The City of Beasts, Isabel Allende
421. The House of the Spirits, Isabel Allende
423. Coraline, Neil Gaiman
424. Like Water for Chocolate, Laura Esquivel
425. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, JK Rowling
426. Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code, Eoin Colfer
427. Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident, Eoin Colfer
428. The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
429. The Invisible Man, Ralph Waldo Emerson
420. Ogre, Ogre, Piers Anthony
421. The Good Earth, Pearl S. Buck
422. The Original English Translation of The Arabian Nights, (translated by) Sir Richard Francis Burton
423. Veronika Decides To Die, Paulo Coelho
424. Thus Spake Zarathustra, Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
425. Gender Trouble, Judith Butler
426. The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir
427. She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb
428. Season of Passage by Christopher Pike
429. Imajica by Clive Barker
430. By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept, Paolo Coelho
431. The Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
432. Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom
433. The Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare
434. The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
435. The Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire
436. The Last Unicorn by Peter Beagle
437. Nightworld by L.J Smith
438. Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton
439. Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler
440. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
441. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
442. Welcome to Temptation, Jennifer Crusie
443. Utopia, Thomas More
444. The School at the Chalet, Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
445. Slaughterhouse 5, Kurt Vonnegut
446. Song of Roland, Anonymous
447. Antigone, Sophocles
448. Hey Nostradamus!, Douglas Coupland
449. Generation X, Douglas Coupland
450. Animal Dreams, Barbara Kingsolver
451. The Jungle, Upton Sinclair
452. Siddhartha, Herman Hesse
453. Around the World in 80 Days, Jules Verne
454. Running With Scissors, Augusten Burroughs
455. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
456. Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut
457. Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
458. The Awakening, Kate Chopin
459. The Stranger, Albert Camus
460. Being Peace, Thich Naht Hahn
461. Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes
462. The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan
463. Nervous Conditions, Tsitsi Dangarembga
464. Xala, Ousmane Sembene
465. Pere Goriot, Honoré de Balzac
466. The Archipelago Gulag, Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn
467. Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre
468. Skipped Parts, Tim Sandlin
469. The Falls, Ian Rankin

Looks like I’m quite the literary kiddo, huh? I’m rather impressed. Especially by the density in the top 100. Hah! No sarcastic comments required, into every blog a certain amount of junk must fall.

Ow. My fundament doth protest, too much, methinks

All I did was cycle 20 miles without informing it in advance, and without preparing it in any way. Surely that’s altogether reasonable? I don’t see what cause it can possibly have to cavail in this ridiculous fashion.


Ok, so it was only 20 miles. Over two days. In the long-past and all but forgotten days of my youth, I was cycling that distance to school. Every day. And playing basketball along the way. Not on the cycle, you understand. I stopped to play basketball. But I digress. This is scarcely germane to the disconcerting fact that I am quite astonishingly unfit still, regardless of swimming and basketball and running and yoga. And realising this is horribly depressing. It seems that I am truly over the hill, and no amount of effort is going to recapture the airy fashion in which I grabbed the handlebars, leapt over the saddle and merrily toddled the 10 miles or so to school. Without gears. Then had a full day of classes, and then toddled merrily back. And then did homework and suchlike. Occassionally.

Ok, I admit it. I am old. And weak. And unfit. And unlikely to ever regain that level of fitness. I have scaled the mountain, and am careening helplessly down the other side, and the crevasse yawns wider with each day that passes.

I am one-third of the way through my life. And what have I done? What have I seen? Nothing.

[/Adrian Rookwhistle-esque rant]

And for those of you who don’t know who Adrian Rookwhistle is (and shame on you) – go read Rosy is my Relative, by Gerald Durrell.


Bleah, bleah and bleah

10-day weather forecast: Showers, Showers, Light Rain, Light Rain, Showers, Showers, Showers, Showers, Showers, Scattered Showers.

Fun, fun fun.

I take back everything I ever said about English weather; it’s boring and predictable as hell, and just the same all day, every day. I apologise to any weather gods I might have offended in this process.

Hopefully they won’t take their revenge on me as I’m cycling to Alton – but gods are capricious beings at the best of times, so we shall see.